Maine Shaken By Huge Wave of Fart Jokes on Facebook

HOLLIS – A colossal wave of farting shook Southern Maine late Wednesday, coinciding with an earthquake registering 4.0 on the Richter Scale that was felt as far away as Boston.

“Mainers logging onto Facebook in the past 24 hours have been subjected to dozens of their ‘friends’ taking the blame for the seismic tremors, which were supposedly the result of an unprecedented number of simultaneous and severe farts,” explains Dora Hernandez, professor of Geology at the University of Southern Maine.

However, Hernandez says she remains skeptical.

“if you believe Facebook, every man, woman, and child from Kittery to Augusta cut the cheese all at once,” she says. “If that really happened, we would have seen something much larger than 4.0.”

The earthquake also caused severe flooding of people’s Facebook feeds with pictures of tipped-over plastic furniture. A team from the Federal Emergency Management Agency is due in town later today to assess how many people were “unfriended” as a result.




  1. Hank Piver says:

    Just plain silly…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Nutrition Information

The Sardine Report is 98% fact free, with no trans facts and no cholesterol. We got lots of mercury, though. Hope you like it.
Copyright 2012 The Sardine Report and Marsh Island Syndicate. All Rights Reserved.
%d bloggers like this: