BANGOR – With three big box warehouse home improvement chains located just a few minutes away, the people at Hammond Lumber Company seem to think that closing their stores right at the exact moment when most people are doing home improvement projects is somehow a good idea.
“Saturday is when I get shit done around the house,” said Garrett Wagner, 37, of Hermon. “It’s convenient for me to be able to run out and get some extra nails or PVC pipe or whatever, except that the store that happens to be closest to me is closed.”
Hammond Lumber is not open at all on Sundays, he added. “I don’t want to hear any bitching and moaning about not being able to compete with the prices at Home Depot and Lowe’s. They’re clearly doing okay if they can afford to take almost the whole goddamn weekend off.”
A spokesperson for Hammond Lumber said their store is geared toward the needs of professional contractors, so everyone else can go fuck themselves.
“We deliver truckloads of lumber and other building supplies to job sites by sunrise,” explained Hammond spokesman Steve Manford, “so if some sad-sack weekend warrior decides in the middle of the afternoon that he needs a new drill bit, we’re not going to fart around the store all day waiting for him.”
Dennis Suotte of Windham remains unconvinced. “If they’re just making money on deliveries, then why have a store at all?” he asked.
Suotte said dropped by the Portland store recently to pick up two-by-fours for his son’s tree house, but the store was closed. “Now the poor kid stays inside and plays World of Warcraft 18 hours a day. He’s depressed and weights 240 pounds and is on all this medication. All because Hammond Lumber doesn’t care about the little guy. I hope they’re happy.”