Maine Voters to Decide About Firing Amanda

ROCKLAND – Having collected the requisite number of signatures, the group Mainers Against Managing Amanda (MAMA) has won approval from the Secretary of State for their citizens’ initiative to appear on this November’s referendum ballot.

The question will read as follows: “Shall the State of Maine continue to employ Amanda Bouchard at the Bureau of Motor Vehicles, even though she is rude and grossly incompetent?”

MAMA officials insist that Bouchard, 38, routinely swears at customers and types in people’s drivers’ license information wrong.

"Okay, Mr. Ziegler, ifyou don't have any more questions, why don't you take this piece of paper over to that table over there and shove it up your ass for me, okay?"

She also takes lousy pictures, they say, and has crooked teeth and bangs like a six-year-old.

“For two years my license said I lived at 22 Fartbush lane, instead of 22 Flatbrush Lane,” said Gene Mankins, President of MAMA. “I’m glad that Maine is the type of place where a grassroots effort can correct this type of injustice.”

Mankins continued, “It would be one thing if she were pretty; I’d excuse the mistake. But this woman is not one to make you look twice, let me tell you. She needs to learn how to present herself.”

Neither Bouchard nor her supervisors at the BMV branch in Rockland responded to requests to be interviewed for this article, except to say “take a number” and “wait your turn, asshole.”

But other opponents of the measure say holding a statewide referendum on the employment status of one person is inefficient and unfair.

“This is why we vote, so we can elect people to make decisions about hiring people who will make decisions about hiring people to make decisions about hiring people who can then decide if you deserve your license in an accurate, timely manner, or if you deserve to suffer a little bit,” stated Jan Bouchard, Amanda’s mother. “We don’t need to vote on every little damn thing.”

But Mankins insists that BMV workers hold a lot of power over people’s lives. “Your driver’s license is your ID. You need it for everything,” he says. “If anything, we should vote for front-line workers and ignore the legislature, since nobody cares what they do, anyway.”

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Comments

  1. I realize this is satire, but comments in print about a young woman’s personal appearance, regardless of any avowed innocent intention, can hurt. The author should be ashamed and sorry, and hopefully by now has apologized to this young woman, who by her picture has presented herself as both lovely and charming.

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