Michaud Changes Clothes 159 Times in One Day

Embarrassing Wardrobe Malfunction Downplayed

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Mike Michaud normally dons a flannel shirt and slacks when visiting blue-collar constituents, then a starched shirt and tie when meeting with business leaders. When arguing bills on C-SPAN, he wears a $2000 suit.

Yesterday, he did all of that before 9 a.m.

Michaud, who represents Maine’s 2nd district in the U.S. House of Representatives, set a new standard in situational attire yesterday when he changed clothes 159 times, congressional historians noted.

His colleagues marveled at his ability to blend in with any crowd, making people feel like he is one of them.

“It’s like he’s Clark Kent for Chrissakes,” said Rep. Mark Critz (D-PA). “He’s unbelievable.”

For his usual mid-morning jog, Michaud started out in gray sweats and a headband. As he approached a crowd of anti-war protesters, the fifth-term congressman from Millinocket dashed into the restroom of a nearby McDonald’s and emerged in a tie-dye shirt, jean shorts, and Birkenstock sandals

After passing through that crowd, Michaud saw a Tai Chi lesson in the park, and quickly threw on a white robe over his hippie clothes. By the time he arrived back at his office for a 10:45 meeting with chemical industry lobbyists, he had already donned a white lab coat and goggles.

At lunchtime, Michaud took a group photo with students from Edward Little High School in Auburn, who were visiting Washington on a school trip. He blended in with baggy jeans worn low enough to reveal red-striped boxers, along with a hooded sweatshirt loose enough to show a temporary tattoo on his neck.

But he committed a humiliating gaffe when he went straight to a two-hour meeting of the Committee on Veterans’ Affairs without removing his earring or nostril stud.

“It won’t happen again, Mr. Chairman,” he promised.

Afterward, speaking with reporters while wearing a fedora and a trench coat, Michaud said wearing facial jewelry is “no big deal” because it is “the new style.”

Returning home for dinner, Michaud greeted his wife in a modest blouse and sensible knee-length skirt and pumps. He barely had time to eat before plundering his wardrobe again for a standard-looking suit to wear for a live interview with CNN.

“It does get exhausting, pretending to seriously care about every piddly-ass little group that thinks they have a voice in government,” Michaud admitted, “but no one said representing the largest district east of the Mississippi would be easy.”




  1. Yes! Finally one on MediaMike.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Nutrition Information

The Sardine Report is 98% fact free, with no trans facts and no cholesterol. We got lots of mercury, though. Hope you like it.
Copyright 2012 The Sardine Report and Marsh Island Syndicate. All Rights Reserved.
%d bloggers like this: