Four Mainers Screw In Light Bulb

One Turns Bulb, Other Three Take Pride in Work Ethic

By Karl Chocensky

CAMDEN — The age old question has been answered: four. That’s how many Mainers it took to screw in a light-bulb yesterday at the ‘Mainely Used Things’ Consignment shop in downtown Camden.

The Maine work ethic has always been a source of great pride for the Pine-tree state and yesterday at around four o’clock PM the staff of Mainely Used Things proved once again just how true the old saying really is.

Not as easy as it looks, my friend.

The bulb–a 75-watt General Electric model–was replaced by four of Maine’s best after only six weeks of flickering. The new bulb, a high tech Compact fluorescent light (CFL), is expected to last for at least two years with a cost savings of like three nickles.

“Well, I noticed that darn bulb was on its last legs in November,” said employee Brent Chestlacer. “I told my manager, Deb, and she called a staff meeting about it. Next thing I know I’m standing on an upside down five-gallon bucket just a-twisting and a-turning.”

Brent was not alone in his heroic achievement. “I couldn’t have done it without the help of my fellow employees, Larry, Sam, and of course my lovely boss, Deb.”

At one point things took a bad turn—literally–when Larry Littlefield realized Brent had been turning the new bulb the wrong way.

“It was getting pretty hairy. We were all just about ready to quit when I noticed Brent was turning the bulb left. I got on the Internet and looked up which way to turn it,” Littlefield told reporters.

After a quick cigarette break followed by lobster-rolls, the intrepid foursome went right back to it. They eventually were able to align the threads of the bulb to the light fixture and apply enough torque to secure the CFL in place.

“You know in some states they would have just given up, maybe hired some illegals to do it,” said Littlefield, “but not here. Not Maine. In Maine, you have a problem, you take care of it eventually.”

-30-

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Comments

  1. roflmao

  2. I always thought it took 50 Mainers to change a lightbulb: one to change it and 49 to moan about how they liked the old broken one much better.

  3. Bhollyhock says:

    It makes me proud to be a Mainer. ~sniff~

  4. OR….

    Q: How many Mainers does it take to screw in a ligh bulb?

    A: Two –one to call the “limited income” project’s super, and one to mix the coffee-brandy and milk.

  5. This boy is FUNNY!

  6. Gwenhwyvar says:

    ‘Mainely Used Things’, eh?

    So, how much for the old bulb?

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