Cain “Friends” LePage

Awkward Facebook Connection Averts Even More Awkward Workplace Tension

AUGUSTA – Rep. Emily Cain (D-Orono) and Gov. Paul LePage are now “friends,” according to sources familiar with each one’s Facebook profile page.

The declaration of Internet loyalties, which occurred last night at about 11:30 p.m., took many observers by surprise, as Cain and LePage disagree on just about every political issue in recorded history.

Cain, 30, admitted that “friending” the controversial new governor was “kind of awkward,” but said it was “probably the right thing to do.”

Emily Cain is Able to see the good in all people. (Get it? Cain and Able... Ha! I kill me.)

She said, “You know how you have certain people at work that you aren’t really that close with, but you don’t want to hurt their feelings when they see you’re friends with other people at work, but not friends with them? It’s kind of like that.”

LePage’s name “kept popping up” under Cain’s “People You May Know” heading. It was “hard to ignore the fact that we have 72 mutual friends,” she said.

Cain then clarified, “It’s not that I dislike Gov. LePage. I’m sure he’s a perfectly nice individual once you get to know him. Maybe this will allow me to see another side to him – you know, besides the blundering, thick-headed ideologue.”

A few moments later, Cain received four Farmville requests from LePage, prompting her to mutter, “Ah, shit, never mind.” She quickly blocked him from her news feed.

Stopping to talk to reporters on his way home for the day, LePage admitted he hesitated to accept Cain’s friend request, but feels relatively new to Facebook and didn’t want to make any waves. He has 31 friends to Cain’s 3083.

“If I decline her friend request, she goes and tells everybody what a jerk I am, and suddenly there’s all this drama,” LePage said. “Let’s just be clear, for all my Tea Party supporters: I hate Emily Cain’s guts, but sometimes you have to deal with the devil.”

Dan Demerritt, LePage’s spokeshuman, issued a statement clarifying the governor’s remarks, saying LePage was “pleased” to receive a Friend Request from the Democratic House Caucus Leader, noting that “Facebook can be an important networking tool.”

Cain isn’t so sure. “If he keeps sharing all these stupid little polls about teaching evolution in schools, I’m going to have to un-friend him,” she said. “It’s not like he’s using this to open some sort of mutually respectful dialogue.”




  1. You need more “like’s” and “um’s” in that Cain dialogue.

  2. Perhaps LePage will stop hating Cain’s guts if she grows a little beard in support of his nonchalance about BPA.

  3. Perhaps he’s using Farmville to gut labor practices. Did you see the astounding proposal, meant just for DeCosters, to exempt their workers from overtime and collective bargaining? LD 1270, hearing was today the 13th April): summary

    “This bill removes the provision that requires that individuals employed for or at an egg processing facility that has over 300,000 laying birds be paid overtime. It also repeals the laws that govern labor relations between agricultural workers and an agricultural employer that operates an egg processing facility that has over 500,000 laying birds and that employs more than 100 agricultural employees.

    You would think it was a Sardine spoof but it’s all too true!!!!! Write letters!!!

  4. Bhollyhock says:

    After LePage hired a land developer who spent two years fighting legislation to widen the scope of wetland protections as the director of DEP, nothing, and I mean NOTHING from this administration surprises me.

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