Mysterious “Snow” Covers State
CARIBOU – Frozen white raindrops fell from the sky Tuesday and Wednesday, piling up to heights of eight inches or more on some areas and confounding the entire state population.
“There is no need to panic,” said Meteorologist Desmond Dimoulas of the National Weather Service. “This rare form of precipitation is called ‘snow’ and it should melt away in a few days. In the meantime, stay indoors and try to take shallow breaths into a paper bag.”
Media across the state devoted hours of airtime and scores of newsprint inches trying to explain and contextualize the odd weather for puzzled Mainers. Newspaper reporters and photographers scrambled to document the event.
Motorists who attempted to drive in the peculiar substance, unaware of its ability to lubricate pavement, often found themselves careening off roadways and subsequently being interviewed on camera by 24-year-old mannequins in a stylish parkas.
Government workers hastily outfitted dump trucks with massive metal devices designed to clean the roads, to little effect.
Some children, kept home from school due to the unusual distraction, used the cold covering to make primitive sculptures and launch hand-held projectiles. But most remained indoors and played video games, too afraid to confront the bizarre elements.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” said Gerald Vericell, who has lived in Aroostook County all his life. “People are just stunned. The ground was bare yesterday, and now look at it. No one knows what to do.”
Apparently, at least one segment of the population had an idea. Merchants statewide reported sudden spikes in their alcohol sales like they’d never seen before.