Sardine Report Threatened with Lawsuit

First Amendment Takes Well-Deserved Day Off

[Editor’s Note: This may be the only time you’ll ever see actual facts in an article posted on this site.]

The Sardine Report bills itself as “Maine’s Fishiest News Source” in order to make clear, literally from the top of the page, that it is not meant to be a source of legitimate information.

Regrettably, some readers lack the ability to recognize satire, even when they should be expecting it.

The Sardine Report was threatened with a lawsuit Friday by Ira Rosenberg, owner of Prime Auto Group, over an article originally posted Tuesday.

Rosenberg’s fancy Boston lawyers sent two letters to the Sardine Report demanding removal of the article and a retraction.  The letters may be viewed by clicking these links:  Cease and Desist to Sardine Report and Cease and Desist Faster, Dammit.

Comedian (and now U.S. Senator) Al Franken once said, “In the United States of America, satire is protected free speech, even if the object of the satire doesn’t get it.”  Despite the fact that any judge would have laughed Mr. Rosenberg out of court, The Sardine Report decided to comply with his demands, for reasons best articulated in the following graph:

“I would like to state, unequivocally, that the article we published about Mr. Rosenberg was 100% factually untrue,” said Chuck McKay, editor and publisher of The Sardine Report, referring to himself in the third-person.  “This should have been evident to begin with, at least to anyone with more brain wave activity than a brick.”

“Mr. Rosenberg appears to be a fine, upstanding, law-abiding, temperate, patriotic, and genuinely nice individual,” McKay continued. “Nothing we wrote about him before is the least bit true.”

The First Amendment could not be reached for comment on this article.

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Comments

  1. I love it! If I were the car dealer, Id be happy with the image portrayed in your piece. He seemed to personify what Americans have come to expect from the most successful car dealers.

  2. In his commercials, Ira seems to have a great sense of humor. Now I’m not so sure.

  3. Joe Flammia says:

    Mr Mckay your just a ———- ——- oh Im just making a joke. see how silly you now look.

  4. You can make up stories about my auto group all you want.

  5. Al Burnedup says:

    Wait a damn minute. Are you telling me this site isn’t factual? You mean to tell me I got third degree burns all over my body for nothing, not to mention fried potatoes in my socks, from following that guide to sub zero tanning you published?! You are a very, very bad man. Can you at least pay for my aloe vera bill?

  6. Dear Sardine Report ~ welcome to the “Media World of Unintended Consequences.”

    Wishing you a speedy recovery from the panic and the heartburn, and hoping your resulting, copious intake of antacids and Allen’s can be successfully be categorized as a business deduction.

    Sincerely yours,
    Somebody Who Knows From Dat
    🙂

  7. ps – I think your graph is off by a LONNNNNNGGGGG ways… your side of the chart should probably be showing *below* the line.

  8. I fired off an email to the auto conglomerate. Thsi si falt out bullshit. What a jerk.

  9. Simon Peterson says:

    I thought when you got caught saying bad things about somebody on a web site in Maine you were supposed to lie (vehemently) about your involvement and deny all knowledge of the site and its construction. Clearly, you guys haven’t been paying attention.

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