Tax Structure Incredibly Boring
By Karl M. Chocensky
SEARSMONT – A town hall meeting over how to structure property tax ended in a unanimous agreement on Wednesday when all present agreed that the discussion was horribly dull.
In an unheard-of 321 to 0 vote, nothing was changed except the subject. The outdated tax structure of the town will remain in place indefinitely, or at least as long as the topic remains so very, very boring.
“Thank God that’s over. I’ll continue bitching about how much I pay the state forever before I ever sit through another yawn-fest like that,” said home-owner Thomas Moore. “The only thing more boring was the NHL All-Star Game.”
The question of property taxes was brought up in passing by a local resident who has asked not be named. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said. “Let’s face it: daytime public radio is more interesting than finances. Besides, none of us know a thing about being fiscally responsible. Why would we live somewhere so economically depressed if we did?”
Town Clerk Kathy Hoey said he had not sat through such a vapid meeting since November of 2010, when the Board of Selectmen started to revise the town’s zoning ordinances, but then lost interest and completed the task with a series of dice rolls.
The meeting then turned to the much livelier subject of changing the High School mascot back to a racially insensitive caricature of a thieving Canadian Fisherman.