Body of Bob Marley Discovered in Tim Sample’s Compost

Semi-Legendary Maine Humorist Arrested Tuesday

PORTLAND – The remains of Bob Marley, Maine’s “King of Comedy,” were discovered Tuesday in a compost bin behind the home of Tim Sample, a Maine humorist who used to be famous but now toils in obscurity.

Sample maintained his innocence. “Don’t you worry, Chummy, we’ll get this all tooken care of,” he said to a group of reporters outside the Cumberland County Courthouse, where he faced indictment on one count of murder and one count of relying on the same five jokes for 30 years.

Marley, 42, was enjoying a promising career, having just released a new CD, “Mini-Van Owner.” He was best known for his “Upta Camp” routine and apparel, and for supplanting Sample as the state’s best loved entertainer.

Marley appeared on all the late-night talk shows, including Leno, Letterman, and O’Brien, and even had his own Comedy Central special. Sample, for his own part, still makes regular appearances at Moody’s Dinah.

Following his indictment, Sample described his ordeal so far as a “wicked pissah” before being stuffed inside a state police van for transport to the Cumberland County Jail.

“I ain’t been up thayah since I had to bail out Our Boy Hubert aftah he shot them six deeah on the intahstate ovah thayah,” he added.

In a recent column for Downeast Magazine, Sample insisted he harbored no ill-will toward Marley, despite the fact that Marley blew him off while working the crowd at the Maine Mall, and apparently thinks he’s King Shit on Turd Island.

Sample is best known for his “Bert and I” recordings from the early 1980s.  He has authored several books, including “Saturday Night at Moody’s Diner” and “I Wish Bob Marley Would Fucking Die.”

His name also appears on license plates displayed at every town office and BMV across the State of Maine, but even this level of notoriety was apparently not enough to quell his jealousy.

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Comments

  1. LOL, that is some funny stuff. Get a facebook page for this blog and I bet you will have some serious hits.

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